Guest Post By my magnificent first Wife Isa.
Written 19 May 2010
I woke up with enough thoughts to write a million books. My hands cannot type as fast as my brain processes all the thoughts, ideas and concepts. I feel as if I am bouncing inside my brain a colourful ball of yarn with many lose beginnings and infinite number of undetermined ends and it is so tangled that it is almost a work of art.
The interesting thing is if I painted it and framed it, I would then be left with a dilemma! Which way to hang it on the wall, if I could find a wall suitable to hang it on?
Figuratively and literally! I have just painted a picture with words!
The trouble is that the colourful yarn keeps growing in size and complexity. Every now and then I pull out the beginning of a string in the form of a thought, hand it to somebody, but then I do not stay long enough to find the end! Not because I didn’t give it enough effort and attention but because the audience has inside their head their own tangled monochrome yarn that oozes fear and disbelief. Let this not be a judgment but a fact.
Precociousness does not describe my attitude! The first word on this page is I. It is thus my prerogative to accept that it is pointless for me to attempt to brighten somebody else’s tightly packed grey variegated string ball.
There is life out there pushing enormous multicoloured silk yarns! All I have to do is to attempt to unravel at least one string using reason and integrity.
Any writing is an imposition on my intelligence until the moment I choose to read it! Then it becomes an option. I am a citizen of the Universe! I am pleased to meet you! I pursue knowledge intelligently and with reason.
This moment is wrapped with a well traveled life path. I have lived but have not always been aware of life. I was pompously alive until I realized the connection in the laws of the Universe. Not in the futile laws of humanity. I was swimming in a pond of life instead of the immense sea of interconnected space time. I am part of humanity first. I ate to grow, learned to get a job, I slept to restore energy, I drank for various reasons and I partied to show popularity. That was good living! But was I alive?
I dressed to cover up my nakedness and go to church. Does anybody realize that I was born naked and without fear. I simply possessed all the basic instincts and requirements to survive on this planet, thanks to the cerebral evolution of my species! My Ancestors made mistakes and learned their lessons. Painting a tiger with a spear through the heart on the cave wall does not help with survival. Running fast and making a fire at the entrance of the cave helps with good tigerless sleep.
So there I was down to basics and doing well. Then somebody told me I had to cover up all my sins with some repetitive recitation. The sins of a 5 year old are only basic instincts suddenly dressed up in new clothes. And they are all b-a-d. I had to obey some man made rules and was handed an enormous cargo of fears so that I understood that failure to comply meant punishment. Since no one around me thought they had the power to enforce the rules—before people make rules they should first solve the problem—they created an invisible entity (good or bad!) that comes when you do not expect it and punishes you with invisible concepts of heaven or hell. Children have a great imagination, are extremely creative and have incredible trust and sense of adventure. Why can’t they be told a better nursery and bed time story? One without blue beard! (Re: The story of Blue Beard by Charles Perrault was still being sold as a children’s bed time story in 1993).
Children’s unique creativeness is colourful, unrestricted and positive. Unfortunately adults find their own compartmental mind and discourage children’s original ability. I recall teaching art awareness to a class of preschoolers, ages between 4 and 7. A young 9 year old girl from another school used to attend my class. That afternoon I decided to guide them through shading and blending with colour crayons. I first demonstrated on a clear white sheet how to press hard with the pencil until the colour was vivid and then slowly ease the pressure until the colour was gradually lighter. The children had to practice this all over their sheet of paper. They managed with various degrees of success. I noticed that all the preschoolers were enthusiastically colouring all over the paper but the older girl just looked at the paper! I asked if she needed help and she looked at me and asked if she could first draw a square and then practice shading inside the lines. I asked her to please try shading on the blank sheet. Within 5 minutes the young children had a rainbow of colour all over their sheets of paper, the 9 year old had 2 smudges on one corner. What does this say? Adult compartmented and restricted influence?
Adults around me painted a picture of good versus evil in my childhood mind—a possible future adult. I recognize the vicious circle! This is not an excuse for keeping the blinkers activated. If our world is a sheet of paper and I am an ink spot I have two alternatives: I stay in my flat world or I get blotted onto another sheet in which case I lose a bit of the original but still keep the same shape if the ink is wet and adventurous.
I confess that I gave up confession at the age of 7. I had problem with the words: “I have sinned by thoughts, words and deeds!” This was worse than begging for forgiveness to all the holy entities. What is a 7 year old to do when she thinks all thoughts, words and…? I am not sure I knew the full meaning of the word deeds, are sinful? I didn’t know what sinful meant either but I was sure punishment was lurking in the shadows.
What is a 7 year old to do indeed but to go on discover herself in the safety of a corn field!? This feels like the sinful couple in the famous garden! They should know better since they appeared as full adults, all naked as children but without the childhood indoctrination!
It is so liberating telling all this to my ink spot! I know nobody that would understand the basics of a mind that is striving to be clear, calm and free of fear.
In general when I speak to other people I either say what they want to hear, narrate what I did during the day or keep quiet. Whichever way has nothing to do with who I am. I just am! I do not need to find myself in the middle of an African village that culturally still lives in the far ancient past and still practices degrading rituals on each other. I do not have to respect such atrocities either!
Appreciate with gratefulness the magnificent beauty of the present being you already are!
Aprecia com gratitude a beleza magnificente do ser present que tu já és!
Written 19 May 2010
I woke up with enough thoughts to write a million books. My hands cannot type as fast as my brain processes all the thoughts, ideas and concepts. I feel as if I am bouncing inside my brain a colourful ball of yarn with many lose beginnings and infinite number of undetermined ends and it is so tangled that it is almost a work of art.
The interesting thing is if I painted it and framed it, I would then be left with a dilemma! Which way to hang it on the wall, if I could find a wall suitable to hang it on?
Figuratively and literally! I have just painted a picture with words!
The trouble is that the colourful yarn keeps growing in size and complexity. Every now and then I pull out the beginning of a string in the form of a thought, hand it to somebody, but then I do not stay long enough to find the end! Not because I didn’t give it enough effort and attention but because the audience has inside their head their own tangled monochrome yarn that oozes fear and disbelief. Let this not be a judgment but a fact.
Precociousness does not describe my attitude! The first word on this page is I. It is thus my prerogative to accept that it is pointless for me to attempt to brighten somebody else’s tightly packed grey variegated string ball.
There is life out there pushing enormous multicoloured silk yarns! All I have to do is to attempt to unravel at least one string using reason and integrity.
Any writing is an imposition on my intelligence until the moment I choose to read it! Then it becomes an option. I am a citizen of the Universe! I am pleased to meet you! I pursue knowledge intelligently and with reason.
This moment is wrapped with a well traveled life path. I have lived but have not always been aware of life. I was pompously alive until I realized the connection in the laws of the Universe. Not in the futile laws of humanity. I was swimming in a pond of life instead of the immense sea of interconnected space time. I am part of humanity first. I ate to grow, learned to get a job, I slept to restore energy, I drank for various reasons and I partied to show popularity. That was good living! But was I alive?
I dressed to cover up my nakedness and go to church. Does anybody realize that I was born naked and without fear. I simply possessed all the basic instincts and requirements to survive on this planet, thanks to the cerebral evolution of my species! My Ancestors made mistakes and learned their lessons. Painting a tiger with a spear through the heart on the cave wall does not help with survival. Running fast and making a fire at the entrance of the cave helps with good tigerless sleep.
So there I was down to basics and doing well. Then somebody told me I had to cover up all my sins with some repetitive recitation. The sins of a 5 year old are only basic instincts suddenly dressed up in new clothes. And they are all b-a-d. I had to obey some man made rules and was handed an enormous cargo of fears so that I understood that failure to comply meant punishment. Since no one around me thought they had the power to enforce the rules—before people make rules they should first solve the problem—they created an invisible entity (good or bad!) that comes when you do not expect it and punishes you with invisible concepts of heaven or hell. Children have a great imagination, are extremely creative and have incredible trust and sense of adventure. Why can’t they be told a better nursery and bed time story? One without blue beard! (Re: The story of Blue Beard by Charles Perrault was still being sold as a children’s bed time story in 1993).
Children’s unique creativeness is colourful, unrestricted and positive. Unfortunately adults find their own compartmental mind and discourage children’s original ability. I recall teaching art awareness to a class of preschoolers, ages between 4 and 7. A young 9 year old girl from another school used to attend my class. That afternoon I decided to guide them through shading and blending with colour crayons. I first demonstrated on a clear white sheet how to press hard with the pencil until the colour was vivid and then slowly ease the pressure until the colour was gradually lighter. The children had to practice this all over their sheet of paper. They managed with various degrees of success. I noticed that all the preschoolers were enthusiastically colouring all over the paper but the older girl just looked at the paper! I asked if she needed help and she looked at me and asked if she could first draw a square and then practice shading inside the lines. I asked her to please try shading on the blank sheet. Within 5 minutes the young children had a rainbow of colour all over their sheets of paper, the 9 year old had 2 smudges on one corner. What does this say? Adult compartmented and restricted influence?
Adults around me painted a picture of good versus evil in my childhood mind—a possible future adult. I recognize the vicious circle! This is not an excuse for keeping the blinkers activated. If our world is a sheet of paper and I am an ink spot I have two alternatives: I stay in my flat world or I get blotted onto another sheet in which case I lose a bit of the original but still keep the same shape if the ink is wet and adventurous.
I confess that I gave up confession at the age of 7. I had problem with the words: “I have sinned by thoughts, words and deeds!” This was worse than begging for forgiveness to all the holy entities. What is a 7 year old to do when she thinks all thoughts, words and…? I am not sure I knew the full meaning of the word deeds, are sinful? I didn’t know what sinful meant either but I was sure punishment was lurking in the shadows.
What is a 7 year old to do indeed but to go on discover herself in the safety of a corn field!? This feels like the sinful couple in the famous garden! They should know better since they appeared as full adults, all naked as children but without the childhood indoctrination!
It is so liberating telling all this to my ink spot! I know nobody that would understand the basics of a mind that is striving to be clear, calm and free of fear.
In general when I speak to other people I either say what they want to hear, narrate what I did during the day or keep quiet. Whichever way has nothing to do with who I am. I just am! I do not need to find myself in the middle of an African village that culturally still lives in the far ancient past and still practices degrading rituals on each other. I do not have to respect such atrocities either!
Appreciate with gratefulness the magnificent beauty of the present being you already are!
Aprecia com gratitude a beleza magnificente do ser present que tu já és!
Isa da Rocha-Chomse
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